If you research quaint marriage customs from the past, much of what you will find describes the folk ways of largely pastoral, rural or village people. Courtship is under the scrutiny of parents, family elders or match-makers, although escaping that scrutiny has been a challenge that was frequently and boldly accomplished both in fairy tales and in real life as long as boys and girls have had eyes for each other. After consent and eligibility are established and the date is set, preparations for the festivities centers mostly around preparing to entertain and provide refreshment for the guests. In this way little has changed. In the old days most couples grew up within close distances and the gathering of guests would probably draw friends and relatives who would might travel for many hours to attend, by walking perhaps twenty or thirty miles. Feasting, drinking, dancing, drinking, blessings, gifts and drinking would occupy two or three days. Well, maybe not everyone did that much drinking, but the Celts do have a reputation. The details vary as location and time period change. Except for the twenty mile hike, when people who grow up in small communities marry one another, little has changed.

Many of the rustic wedding customs of our ancestors do not travel very well to our present times. If you break a short bread over the head of the bride or groom as they leave the church what are the chances that the unmarried youths present will scramble to eat a bit of it off the ground to insure a good match for their own marriage? Cutting the cake over the seated bride’s head at the reception has replaced this tradition. It was also customary to salute the bride and groom by firing guns in the air outside the church. Try that in the suburbs! If you did have your wedding at a venue where you could use firearms, what statement would you be making? Chances are at least some of your guests would think you are a gun nut rather than a traditionalist. Honking the horns of the cars in the procession from the church replaces the guns.

Musical traditions travel through time much better. Having a piper lead the bride to the church or down the aisle is a certain and reliable way to dress the occasion with heritage. This is probably the most common way to honor the bride and groom that gives the wedding a Celtic flavor. There is no single standard way to incorporate a piper in the wedding. Piping arrival or departure is the most common and goes back to the tradition of clan chiefs having personal pipers leading them with ceremonious fanfare. Sometimes they play outside as guests arrive or afterwards as the receiving line forms. If communion is served at a wedding, a piper or other Celtic musician can play during that time also or pipers can play a wedding march processional and/or a recessional. Find a bagpiper almost anywhere in the world at Bagpiper.com

Wedding clothes are another opportunity to incorporate some tradition. The bride’s white gown has become so traditional that many cannot imagine anything else but this is relatively recent development in the Celtic lands. The white dress is a cosmopolitan fashion that has become practically universal in these days of mass communication. In the 19th century colored bridal dresses were quite common at country weddings.   Kilts for the groom and attendants can be hired for weddings if they do not own their own. This is commonly done in Scotland these days and kilt hire is becoming available in other parts of the world as well. The wearing of kilts by those who were not brought up to it, and especially outside of Scotland should be considered carefully and thoughtfully. A man should not consider wearing a kilt for the first time at his own wedding if he thinks it might make him feel awkward or foolish. It takes a certain bearing to wear a kilt with confidence. The groom will probably have enough butterflies in his stomach just because he is getting married. The book So You Want to Wear the Kilt by Scotty Thomson is recommended reading.

In Scottish weddings where clan ties are strongly felt it is customary for the groom to pin a plaid or sash of his family tartan on his bride after the exchange of rings. Celtic design or traditional dress can be incorporated into the attire of the bride’s maids’ dresses as well or their jewelry.

History of Holy Matrimony

In the Gospel according to John we are told of Jesus’ miracle of changing the water to wine at a wedding in Cana. What does this account teach us about weddings? The Gospel says nothing about who was married or how their ceremony was conducted. The gospels have a lot to say about married life and divorce but the situation at the wedding at Cana leading to the miracle was that things were going badly because they ran out of wine. We learn from this incident that the wedding is a party and that the guests as well as host and the servants all consider it a very important party. Jesus’ mother is worried that the groom will be disgraced when the wine runs out early. She asks Jesus to do something about it. He fixes things and lets the groom get the credit from the guests who compliment him that his wine is so good.

Banns of marriage were required in areas under British rule, including Wales, Scotland and Ireland. The banns consisted of an announcement in church for three Sundays prior to the wedding. This prevented people from marrying in haste and also gave any who might object time to learn of the match. Giving a fortnights notice to the registrar is still a legal requirement in Britain. Three months is required in Ireland. Waiting periods are common in most jurisdictions of the English speaking world, with the famous exception of the State of Nevada.

Banns were a much more thorough way of asking anyone who might object to "speak now or forever hold your peace." If you ever wondered what objections were valid they are that either of the parties are already married, they are under the age of consent, they are too closely related or if either has concealed injury or disease that would make it impossible for them to have children. These are also grounds for annulment.

Our knowledge of what common folk did at their weddings prior to living memory is limited to a very few accounts recorded by travelers in the 19th century. Prior to then what the common folk did was of no interest to the literate. Many married with very little fuss. Established Church records are very good for weddings and baptisms going back well into the 18th century. It is quite common for baptisms and marriages to be recorded on the same dates which leads one to conclude that many couples sort of drifted into marriage and made it official only after the fact of their relationship was manifested in a flesh and blood child. On the other hand betrothals could be cause for celebration and often as formal an occasion and good time a party as the wedding itself. Just as today some people got married quietly while others made the event a memorable celebration that involves many friends and relatives.

Much has been made of the revival of the custom called handfasting, perhaps too much. In some places and times (Medieval Scotland, Northern England and perhaps Ireland) it seems to mean betrothal and in others genuine marriage. Many interpret it as a trial marriage or a step beyond betrothal but not nearly as permanent as marriage. It is often repeated that this handfasting is for a year and a day.

Appealing as the "trial marriage" concept of handfasting is to many, the "revival" of the practice is a case of life imitating fiction. The literary source for the "year and a day" originally comes from Sir Walter Scott.   The popular Outlander  series by Diane Gabeldon is just one of more recent  examples of ideas about handfasting  entering  the popular imagination through  historical novels. A year and a day was the period that a couple must be married for a spouse to have claim to a share of inheritable property in case of the death of the other spouse. Misunderstanding of this fact combined with confusion about the celebration of betrothals in medieval times lead to the modern myth of the Celtic trial marriage.

Never-the-less the mythical "trial marriage" handfasting is now pretty well established in some circles. Handfasting, according to the historical novel tradition would normally lead to regular permanent and valid marriage but if either parties chose to leave, the relationship was null. Even if children had been brought forth these children were considered lawful offspring of both parents. Neither would be prevented from seeking marriage to another after the handfasting was dissolved. Handfasting in a manner reminiscent of marriage by declaration is advocated by modern pagans and historical reenactment enthusiasts, sometimes as an off-the-books substitute for legal marriage, sometimes as a supplement to a legal wedding. Handfasting, it is claimed is a holdover from pre-Christian Celtic marriage laws. It should not be surprising that in this day and age when sexual partnerships often avoid the commitment of permanent monogamy, that a fantasy state of non-marriage should appear. If trial marriages existed in medieval times as it is claimed, they were just the sort of unregistered, off-the-books affairs that would be impossible to document historically. Thus the possibility that such arrangements once may have been is used to justify arrangements that are made to order for lovers wishing to live together in a partnership recognized by like-minded friends, but without the blessing of church or state.

It should be cautioned that while brides and grooms can be very creative with their vows, clothes, locations, music and religious content of their weddings, laws of the state and church still apply. It is a crime for clergy to knowingly perform marriages that would not be legally binding or to perform marriages and not record them properly with the state. If you ask a real ordained minister, who is licensed by the state to perform marriages, to bless a handfasting that you do not want to record as a legal wedding you are on very thin ice unless you make it very clear that it is a betrothal. Religious sects have rules about what they allow as well. Maverick pastors can be de-frocked for going against church teachings about marriage. Bigamy is a crime and so is marrying your brother or your mother or your dog or your hamster.

There are two reasons when it is OK and even advisable to have a second informal wedding ceremony that would not be registered with the state. When a couple joins or returns to active fellowship in religious faith after having been married outside that church they may be wed again according to the form and tradition of the sect they wish to have bless their marriage. This commonly happens when a couple wants their existing marriage to be recognized by the Roman Catholic Church, but they may desire to reaffirm their vows in a religious ceremony in any faith, either because they are just now converting to it or for some other reason they did not have a religious ceremony at the time they first wed. This wedding is usually done privately. It need not be recorded with the state since as far as the state is concerned the marriage already exists. It is increasingly popular to renew wedding vows, usually on an anniversary. This can be a very touching ceremony and again there is no need to record the event with the state or comply with any of the legal requirements of a regular wedding as the marriage is already recorded.